Brain chemistry shifts
June 19, 2026
Recalibration. Adjustment, fine-tuning, reset. But was I ever calibrated in the first place? What ideal state am I even trying to return to? Where do I start and how do I know when recalibration has been successfully completed?
I finished the last semester of my degree physically drained, in need of sopas e descanso, symbolically speaking. Nobody needs soup when it’s 35°C. Faced with the infinite possibilities of micro-managing my newly freed days, I still feel as though I’m carrying the world on my shoulders. I have no classes, no deadlines, no exams, but I am always busy and I call these self-imposed quests work. Tidying my room. Taking stock of the books I’ve read and those still sitting on the shelf. Endlessly updating my design portfolio, which I will share when it feels right. Digitising old photographs one by one. Selling second-hand clothes. I invent all sorts of things because I think I don’t like being still.
But the other day I woke up and felt like reading in bed. A heatwave outside, freshly washed sheets, water on the bedside table and me in my pyjamas, reading — sitting up, lying down, on my back and then on my front — all morning. I had other plans in my schedule, but I did what I felt like and I felt the way I used to when I was a teenager spending holidays in the Algarve. Summer and holidays in the Algarve are inseparable sensations. The first sunny days arrive and I’m mentally sixteen in the Algarve all over again. If this isn’t familiar to you, I don’t think I have the words to describe such a specific feeling.
In the same spirit of recalibration, I’m craving new music. Not new in the sense of recently released, but new to me. I can vividly recall what I listened to each summer in the Algarve. This summer (not quite yet, but it’s close), my Spotify has only been disappointing, or perhaps I’ve just become more picky. Neither the personalised mixes nor the Radio mode are showing me anything new. The playlists that are supposed to be fed by my algorithm aren’t aligned with what I listen to or what I want to listen to. Or I’ll listen to a whole album in a day (take Heavy Metal, for example), and suddenly my Spotify seems to know nothing else about me. Here's Cameron Winter in every Daily Mix. The strategy that has been working for me is to categorically ignore any ‘made for you’ playlists and look for inspiration in other people’s playlists. Spotify mixes suck, people’s playlists don’t.
What else is new? I watched Watching the Detectives for free on YouTube, as you should too. Beautiful chemistry between the main actors. Cool outfits all over. I’ve developed a new obsession with capri trousers, and now it makes no sense to me that all the trousers in my wardrobe are full length. I’ve set themes for this season in my journal and summer is tasting more and more simple every year. Reading in bed, taking naps, saying “no” and not being in a hurry. Wishing the same for you!
